Hi all,
I enjoy underlining the passages in books to convince myself I’m retaining what I’m reading. Over the years I’ve probably underlined thousands of sentences that I’ve since forgotten about… until today.
This week I’m sharing some old wisdom nuggets that I think you’ll find insightful and practical.
Some newsletters are also skilled at making jokes about current events in their little intro paragraph. I’m still learning the ropes, so today I’m stealing the one from Morning Brew:
“One week ago, as British Prime Minister Liz Truss faced growing backlash to her leadership, a UK tabloid wondered whether she’d outlast a head of lettuce.
Now, only the lettuce romaines.”
Thank you,
Brendan
P.S. Check out my Thoughts from a Bench webpage on Substack to leave a comment on this post or read from the archive:
Wisdom nugget #1
“If someone is slipping up, kindly correct them and point out what they missed. But if you can’t, blame yourself—or no one.” —Marcus Aurelius
The fun part of work is the people you work with. The not fun part of work is the people you work with.
For the not fun part… I’ve learned it’s easy to point fingers and stew in resentment over the mistakes of others. “If so and so could just do X right, my life would be so much easier.”
Marcus is reminding us that this self-centered perspective is not very productive. But taking responsibility and having an instructional conversation can be a huge benefit in the long run, especially if it encourages the other person to show us when we may be slipping up.
We need others to challenge us and hold us accountable, or else we lose touch with reality. Scores of Greek myths, history lessons, and business failures (@DeLorean) have taught us that’s a dangerous position to be in.
Wisdom nugget #2
“The most important principle for designing an ethical society is to make sure that everyone’s reputation is on the line all the time, so that bad behavior will always bring bad consequences.” —Jonathan Haidt
Plato’s Ring of Gyges is a mythical ring that could make one invisible. It raises the following series of questions: would people behave the same way with the ring on their finger, if they knew that no one could see what they’re up to, if there were no consequences to their actions?
In The Righteous Mind, Haidt’s answer is an emphatic no. Humans tend to behave themselves because someone else is watching them. Social pressures are extremely important for incentivizing good behavior. An Israeli daycare learned this the hard way. Dealing with too many parents picking up their kids late, they instituted a $3 late pick-up fine, and the problem got… worse. Why? It replaced a reputational / social punishment with a financial one. Parents now thought, “I won’t be viewed as a self-centered time-waster if I pay the $3 and run some errands before picking up Noam from daycare.”
Social norms and reputational pressures are very powerful. When people have skin in the game and their reputations on the line, they’re more likely to cooperate.
Wisdom nugget #3
“One of the puzzling lessons I have learned, is that, more often than not, I do not feel like doing most of the things that need doing.” —Gregg Krech
I almost never feel like writing. Or waking up to propel myself through cold, acidic water (e.g. swim). Or calling that person I haven’t talked to in a while. Afterwards, I wonder why I don’t do it more.
But as podcaster / athlete Rich Roll says, “mood follows action.” You usually can’t think yourself into feeling motivated; you have to start with action. To do this, you can “trick yourself” by just saying you’ll work on something for 5, 10 or 60 minutes.
Most important things are difficult to start. Even the best authors have trouble sitting down to write.
The good news is that starting is the hardest part.
Wisdom nugget #4
(The Scream, Edvard Munch)
“Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, make it your creative offering.” —Susan Cain
There has been a long tradition in psychology of noticing an association between creativity and sorrow. One study examined 500+ creative leaders and found an unusually high percentage had lost at least one parent before the age of 20. Another study has shown that people in a worse mood are more likely to design “more creative” artwork (as rated by professional artists). Some estimate artists are up to 10x more likely to suffer from mood disorders. (These studies are all sourced from Cain’s book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole).
Loneliness, longing, suffering, and pain are often the drivers behind our greatest art, from The Brothers Karamazov to Van Gogh to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.
Even if you don’t consider yourself “creative”, I think it’s helpful to understand this—that other people use pain as their fuel every day. They even make a living from it.
How can your current pain fuel a new perspective or direction in your life, one that’s ultimately for the better? As Nassim Taleb puts it,
“Difficulty is what wakes up the genius.”
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