The growth tension model

A new model for impostor syndrome

Sep 08, 2024

Hi all,

I recently started graduate school at Columbia University to pursue an MBA from Columbia Business School and a Master’s degree (focused on AI & Machine Learning) from Columbia Engineering. I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity to spend 2 years as a student again. With all the excitement around AI and its business potential, it also feels like an ideal time to be learning at the intersection of business and technology.

Several of my classmates have already mentioned they feel like “impostors” on campus. They told me they sometimes question whether they really belong or whether they’ll succeed in the program. It’s always a relief to hear this, because I feel that way too.

“Impostor syndrome” is normal for anyone starting something new and hard. It’s a common pattern of life—a “signal”—that indicates a growth opportunity if approached with the right mindset. In today’s article, I reflect on how to productively navigate impostor syndrome and its often challenging symptoms.

Thank you for reading Signals & Stories. Have a good start to the week!

—Brendan

The growth tension model

(click above to read the full article online)

As I start graduate school, it’s easy to feel “impostor syndrome”. Do I really belong among so many impressive people? Can I really achieve the goals in my application? It’s an uncomfortable feeling that you may have felt, too, when starting something new and challenging.

Until recently, I believed impostor syndrome was a weakness. It implied a lack of confidence and foreshadowed a lack of achievement. Successful, shiny people never experience impostor syndrome. They’re too busy (I thought) winning.

I now have a new model for framing impostor syndrome. It helps me see that impostor syndrome is not evidence of a weakness in the present, but the natural consequence of pursuing something new and hard in the future. It can be a fuel for motivation and improvement, not a source of doubt and stasis.

I learned this new model from Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline. I call it the growth tension model.

Imagine a rubber band tightly stretched between your hands. The top hand represents your vision (“where I want to go”), and the bottom hand represents your current reality (“where I am now”). When you feel impostor syndrome, it’s usually because there is a big gap between your future vision and your current reality. It’s that gap that creates tension:

Source: The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge. Minor modifications made for clarity.

This is what I imagine happens at graduate school. No one invests several years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to stay the same person! You hope to be doing something at the end of those few years you couldn’t imagine yourself doing at the beginning. So you dream big. As you imagine the greater and greater success of “future you”, the contrast with “current you” expands. You start to feel greater and greater tension. “Can I really achieve that?”

Anyone who has pursued anything ambitious—at graduate school and well beyond—has experienced this tension. And Senge’s model shows there are two different perspectives you can take when you feel it:

Perspective #1 — “Impostor Syndrome is a weakness”: When you feel the tension, you assume it’s because of a fixed personal weakness. Why else would you feel this self-doubt and anxiety? Instead of improving yourself, you lower your vision to something more “realistic”—while your current reality stays the same. “I won’t shoot for A; I’ll just settle for B.”

“Lowering your vision.” Image modified from The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge

Perspective #2 — “Impostor Syndrome indicates an opportunity”: When you feel the tension, you accept the underlying cause: there is a gap between your future vision (“I see myself doing X”) and your current reality (“But I’m only at Y”). You shift your attention away from any uncomfortable symptoms and toward the tangible improvements required to reach your vision. The tension becomes a source of motivation, not anxiety. You raise your current reality up, while your vision stays the same:
“Raising your current reality.” Image modified from The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge

Both perspectives relieve tension and any uncomfortable symptoms of impostor syndrome. But Senge’s model shows that only the second perspective involves changing your current reality and making real improvement.

Framing impostor syndrome as an opportunity to tangibly improve (“Perspective #2”) is the more productive perspective. But it’s also the more difficult one.

Not only does it require hard work and persistence—like anything! It also takes patience. Improving yourself—and seeing those sweet results—can take months or years. Lowering your vision only takes seconds. While sometimes you should lower your vision because of legitimate reasons (e.g. you realize it’s the wrong goal altogether), it can be self-limiting to assume it’s the default choice.

The growth tension model has helped me accept and act on these truths. I can ask myself questions like, “If I stop aiming for this opportunity, is it just because I’m lowering my expectations?” “Am I taking the path of least resistance, so I can feel better in the short-term?” It’s easier to grasp what W. Somerset Maugham meant when he wrote, “only a mediocre person is always at his best.” Raising your current reality is usually an imperfect journey that does not feel easy.

This model has also helped me understand how fortunate I am to be in a position to experience tension in the first place. Without the opportunity to aim higher than before, there’s no opportunity to experience impostor syndrome! Its symptoms shouldn’t be shunned, but welcomed.

What are your own experiences with impostor syndrome? How have you turned this feeling into an opportunity for growth? What worked well and what didn’t?

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